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Saturday, March 22, 2008

Things it takes most of us 50 years to learn:

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of

Helicopters in it.

 

2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling

Reason why we observe daylight-saving time.

 

3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests

You think  she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging

From

Her at that moment.

 

4. The most powerful force in the universe is:    gossip.

 

5. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,

Gender,

Religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down

Inside,

We ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

 

6. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to

Make

A big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.

 

7. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

 

8. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never

Want you to share yours with them.

 

9. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race

Has

Not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word

Would

Be "meetings."

 

10. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy

People who are not in them.

 

11. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of

Its glories,  and she decides to deliver a message to humanity, she will

NOT

Use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad

Hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.

 

12. You should not confuse your career with your life.

 

13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not

A

Nice person.

 

14. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too

Seriously.

 

15. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one

Individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very

Often, that individual is crazy.

 

16. Your true friends love you, anyway.

 

17. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

 

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