A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for
> dinner Both he and his wife decide that they
> won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but
> will give them a clue and let them guess.> > > > The
> kids were eager to know what the meat was on their
> plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.> > >
> > Well, he said, 'It's what mommy calls me
> sometimes'.> > > > The little girl screams to her
> brother...> > > > 'Don't eat it, it's an asshole...
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." -- Youngman
Have a nice day
====================================================
I had to replace a light bulb in the kitchen today,
but my sweet wife told me I was too old and clumsy to be standing on a ladder.
So, I asked a neighbor.
Then I held the ladder while the light bulb was being replaced.
Just because I'm old and clumsy, doesn't mean I'm stupid ....
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A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra.
Eager to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them. Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.
Unfortunately, his Viagra kicks in just as his wife comes home and it is hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.
"What happened?" the man asks. "You were in there for hours and yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?"
The cockatiel pants, "Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs a frozen chicken?"
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Condom says to Stayfree: When you work, I lose seven days of business.
Stayfree replies: If you fail to work once, my business stops for nine months.
A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked : Why do you have your tits on your back?"
The camel responded : "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face!"
A black guy and a white girl met at a nite club. She took him to her apartment and said: "Tie me to the bed and do what black men do best!"So he ran off with the TV and DVD...
Wife: I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!
Husband: I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE; every morning!
A Chinese couple got married. When baby was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown. Finally, the father named the baby SUM TING WONG.
A lady visited her doctor one morning.
Doc said: You look so weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals 3 times a day as I advised?
Lady: Doc, I thought you said "3 MALES a day!"
Phone rings and the chinese maid picks up the phone as her master is bathing.....
When the caller asked: "What's he doing", the maid replied: "MASTUR BATING"
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3 + 3 = 8, batao kaise???? 
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GALTI SE....
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