True Lies

It is not only age. Women lie about a whole lot of other facts of life, arguably as much as men. But the tools of lies assume a different motive (and significance) when used in a marriage. While we've said earlier that some lies are simply imperative to keep the foundations of a relationship intact, there are some others which are becoming exceedingly common with women. Thus, we thought, we should inform the men of our city to be aware of these statements, just in case your wife or girlfriend gives it to you, wrapped in sweet nothingness.

"You're perfect"

Lateral translation: I hope this makes you swell with pride

She "loves you just the way you are' and wouldn't want to "change a thing about you"; but be practical man, nobody is perfect. Many women are heard saying this at the beginning of a relationship because they didn't know you very well but after some time will definitely find something that needs changed. (The way you fling your shoes after work, for example). So, if she tells you something like this, don't be flattered because the statement can expire only after a couple of days, and she will be the one to ask you to change.

"You're right"

Lateral translation: Shut up

When you hear this suddenly in the middle of an argument; it is criminal to believe it. Maybe this makes you feel proud of yourself for a split second, but you have to know that this is a big lie. She said this just to make you shut up, even if she didn't consider that you're right. She knows that after a while you will see that she was 'righter', and is perhaps waiting for an apology.

"Nothing is wrong"

Lateral translation: You better find out how screwed up my life is

The most common lie "I'm fine" when asked if there is something wrong is used by women, across cultures. You see that she is upset, she is acting strange or doesn't want to talk to you too much, when you ask her what the problem is, she says that everything is fine. Women don't want to tell the underlying truth since they (fortunately or unfortunately) expect the clueless sahib to figure out that something is wrong.

"I do love sports honey"

Lateral translation: "Whatever it takes, for a trip to the mall this weekend"

This one's so common, it has actually been the focus of a popular television commercial recently. Point is, maybe she agrees to stay and share in the cricketing action at Australia, but this doesn't really mean that she loves it. She accepts to do this just to show you that she is different from other women and you have common interest. You may be thinking that you have found the perfect girl for yourself, because not many of them would like to watch cricket (or other sports), but don't be too happy, she might just be ogling at a Yuvraj Singh or a Christiano Ronaldo.

"I like spending time with your friends"

Lateral translation: It's fun to get gossip about the who's who of our friends-circle

In the beginning this may be fine, but overdoing it may kill her interest. Even if they are your good friends, she would like to spend more time alone with you and not with your friends. If she didn't tell you this already, she will ask you to keep visits from your buddies at minimum and then she might keep pretending she loves them.

"Your family is adorable"

Lateral translation: I hope this does good PR for a future marriage

"So I love spending time with your mom, sister, cousins" etc. The truth? Maybe once a month. Think about it. Do you really think that she might be attracted to your family where everybody might be watching very move of hers? She agrees to spend time with your family when is necessary but she doesn't do it with much pleasure even if she is pretending in front of you that she likes them.

"Your bank account doesn't matter"

Lateral translation: ..as long as I have the debit card to that account

This one has been the butt of many jokes in marriages all round the world. We sincerely hope you didn't believe this when she said it to you when you were dating. All women want a guy who is financially stable and independent, a guy that can assure her a future with no financial problems. All this, at least to convince her parents. However, most of the times, this doesn't mean that you have to be filthy rich to have a girlfriend, or she's eyeing your money.

"It doesn't bother me if you look after your female friends"

Lateral translation: I don't want you to know how green with jealousy I am

This one too, is too good to be the truth. Even she says that this is ok, she will definitely be upset that you want to go drop a decent-looking female friend to her place late night. They consider themselves 'second best' in such cases, and accept this in order to make themselves seem less pathetically needy. If you choose to go to dance bars though, she will bombard you with so many taunts later, that you will agree with Mr R R Patil that they are banned.

"You are very good in bed"

Lateral translation: Telling you how bad you are might encourage you to defect to someone else

If she chose to speak about this topic without you asking her, you don't have to believe all she says! If she starts to compliment you about your sexual experience on her own, it doesn't mean she really believes that. Often a woman who cares about a man tells him all "he wants to hear" just to make him feel good about himself.. So think about your girlfriend, your past relationships, your sexual experiences and see if you really deserve compliments on this one.

"Don't worry, it happens to everyone"

Lateral translation: I want to get used to accidents

If you just make an obvious mistake, inside or outside bed, you might hear this one from your girlfriend. She doesn't want to show you how upset she is on you but in her mind thinks something else. "I wouldn't be too sure that your mistake is forgiven and I would worry with not making too many '' accidents'' like these" she might be thinking.