Blonde Jokes

Accident  "How come you're late?" asks the bartender as the blonde waitress walks in the door.  "It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down the street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street; he was thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course; all my training came back to me in a minute."  "What did you do?" asks the bartender.  "I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"

 

Adult Video A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult video.  She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.  When she arrives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape into the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.  "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape but static."  "Sorry about, that,"replied the store clerk. "We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"  The blonde replied, "It's called 'Head Cleaner.'"

 

Appliance Store  A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.  She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."  "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."  "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"