US finance humor

Some humor before the markets open!!

1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the
building standing,. Its called the stock market - Jay Leno

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are?? Wall Street is now
being called Wal Mart Street - Jay Leno

3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker. The
pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW

4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las
Vegas and an investment banker? A tie!

5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left
side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.

6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show,
if you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam.
Don't fall for it - Jay Leno

7. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his
favourite candy bar - Jay Leno

8. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Bush's copy is even
thicker. They had to include pictures - Jay Leno

9. President Bush's response was to meet some small business owners in
San Antonio last week. The small business owners are General Motors,
General Electric and Century 21 - Jay Leno

10. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my
cheques is returned stamped 'insufficient funds'. I won't know
whether that refers to mine or the bank's