Sardar in Paris...

It could only have been a Sardar!!!
A Sardar furniture dealer decided that he wanted to expand
the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see
what he could find.
After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip ever to
 the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally
selected a new range of furniture that he thought would sell well back
home in India.
To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a pub
and have a glass of wine. As he sat down enjoying his wine, soon enough, a very
 beautiful attractive young lady came to his table, asked him
something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned towards the
chair.
He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in Hindi, Punjabi
& English, but she did not speak or know any of these languages. So,
after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a
napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it
her.
She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took
another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and
she nodded.

They left the pub and found a quiet cafe that featured a
small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he
took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.
She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the
cafe closed and the band was packing up.
Then, after they were back at their table, the young lady
took a napkin and drew a picture of a bed.
........ ............ ........ Would you believe it......!!!
Till this day, the Sardar has no idea how she figured out
that he was in the furniture business!!!! !

 

Meanings of your name" Just check out

 

Instructions : What you do is find out what each letter of your name means.

Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU. ( Is'nt it GREAT !!)

If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once.

For Example : EKTA

E = You are a very exciting person.

K = You like to try new things.

T = You have an attitude, a big one.

A = You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

-------------

A = You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

B = You are always cautious when it comes to meeting newpeople .

C = You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.

D = You have trouble trusting people.

E = You are a very exciting person.

F = Everyone loves you.

G = You have excellent ways of viewing people.

H = You are not judgmental.

I = You are always smiling and making others smile.

J = Jealously

K = You like to try new things.

L = Love is something you deeply believe in.

M = Success comes easily to you.

N = You like to work, but you always want a break.

O = You are very open-minded.

P = You are very friendly and understanding.

Q = You are a hypocrite.

R = You are a social butterfly.

S = You are very broad-minded.

T = You have an attitude, a big one.

U = You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.

V = You have a very good physique and looks.

W = You like your privacy.

X = You never let people tell you what to do.

Y = You cause a lot of trouble.

Z = You're always fighting with someone .

Funny full forms of Big Companies

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT

 

2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

 

3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses

 

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

 

5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems

 

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

 

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

 

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

 

9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

 

10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

 

11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings

 

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

 

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

 

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

 

15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go

 

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.

 

18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

 

19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.

 

20. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhana

 

21.PATNI : Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments

 

...a joke

This Guy was traveling on a highway and took a stoppage to visit a
restroom . Following is the true conversion that happened.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall
saying: "Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom but I
don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"

And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too
bizarre so I say:

"Uhhh, I'm like you, just travelling!" At this point I am just trying
to get out as fast as

I can when I hear another question. "Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just
be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, "No……..I'm a little
busy right now!"

Then I hear the guy say nervously…

"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other
stall who keeps answering all my questions!"

 

The Tomato Story

A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.

'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours,
he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times,
and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US ...
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied,'I don't have an email.'
The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'

Moral of the story


Moral 1
Internet is not the solution to your life.

Moral 2
If you don't have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

Moral 3
If you received this message by email,
you are closer to being a office boy/girl, than a millionaire. .........

Graffitti 18+

·  Sex is Evil, Evil is sin, Sins are Forgiven, So Sex is In!	·  Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from going soft.
·  An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card	·  Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society; but always remember who laid them!
·  If necessity is the mother of invention, then… Frustration is the father of masturbation!	·  Always marry a woman with small palms. It makes your dick look bigger !
·  I believe in safe sex...I've got a handrail around the bed.	·  Just remember: No matter how hot & sexy a babe is, someone somewhere is tired of fuckin her!
·  The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.	·  Life without Friends is like Boobs without Nipples... POINTLESS !
·  Go braless: it'll pull the wrinkles out of your face.	·  The importance of UNITY explained at it's best: What did one leg of a woman tell dthe other: UNITED we are saved, Divided we are Fucked.
·  Old Proverb: A smile is a curve that makes everything straight. New Proverb: Boobs are curves that make something super straight...!	·  Slogan on a boy's T-shirt: Please tell your boobs not to stare at my eyes.
·  In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!	·  The definition of an optimist is a woman who loads up the CD changer before making love.
·  When the toilet paper of experience is depleted, the *** of reason goes unwiped.	·  My wife and I finally became sexually compatible... We achieve simultaneous headaches.
·  Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?	·  Go on. Add some variety to your sex life... Use the other hand!
·  Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it.	·  Fuck a girl & she'll love you... Love a girl & she'll fuck you!
·  A hooker once told me she had a headache.	·  Most men have split personalities; They hate cats but love pussies.
·  Men give love to get sex, Women give sex to get love.	·  Most men approve of premarital sex until daughters are born.
·  A pussy is like a potato chip: You can't eat just one.	·  Did God make you an asshole, or did you evolve?
·  A hooker once told me she had a headache.	·  Men play the game. Women know the score.
·  Too much sex is not good for one but rather nice for two!	·  A girl can be poor in history but great on dates!
·  Women like to spoon in bed, whereas men just like to fork.	·  Go on. Add some variety to your sex life... Use the other hand!
·  Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?	·  My wife and I finally became sexually compatible...We achieve simultaneous headaches.
·  When the toilet paper of experience is depleted, the ass of reason goes unwiped.	·  Nature invented sex as a reward for letting go of childhood.
·  The definition of an optimist is a woman who loads up the CD changer before making love.	·  Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from going soft.
·  Money is just like arse... Everybody has it, but nobody wants to give it !	·  Practice safe sex, go fuck yourself.
·  Height of conceit : Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.	·  My wife says my sex drive has taken up walking.
·  9 out of 10 men prefer large breasts. The other man prefers the 9 men.	·  Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time
·  Money is jst like arse... everybody has it, but.... nobody wants to give it !	·  Success is like masturbation, only ur own hand can let u acheive it.
·  Educatuon is like hiring a prostitute, it needs both money & hard work.	·  Work is like a gangbang, ten people are behind ur ass 2 take ur place.
·  Fate is like getting raped, if u can't fight it learn to njoy it.	·  Success is like masturbation, only ur own hand can let u acheive it.
·  Men are like vacations...They never seem to last long enough	·  I believe in safe sex...I've got a handrail around the bed
·  Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?	·  I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight
·  You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me	·  All those who proclaim that dog is man's best friend, have evidently not played with a pussy.
·  Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction	·  Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society; but always remember who laid them!
·  Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring	·  Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself.
·  An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card	·  Go braless: it'll pull the wrinkles out of your face
·  The irony of a blow job is that even if you have her at your feet she's got you by the balls.	·  I'm definitely claustrophobic. I have a morbid fear of tight spaces. Thankfully, with my girlfriend, I'll never have a problem with that
·  Friends are like condoms; they protect you when things get hard	·  You know it's always business doing pleasure with you
·  I am skilled at the art of love. I just wish I had a bigger paintbrush	·  The only loss that causes sense of achievement is Virginity.
·  A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it	·  I guess you could call me a polygamist.Sometimes I switch hands.
·  Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.	·  Make love not war because Condoms are cheaper than Guns!
·  Silence doesn't mean your sexual performance left her speechless.	·  Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.
·  Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.	·  Definition of will power: Looking into the eyes of a topless waitress!
·  It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl	·  One of the side effects of Viagra is a headache. Every time I take a pill, my wife gets a headache.
·  I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.	·  There is a tax on sex... it's called 'children'.
·  Happiness is like penis; always looks small if you hold it in your hands but when you learn to share it, you'll realize how big & precious it is!	·  Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise.
·  girl who opens her hands receives gifts. Who opens her heart receives love. Who opens her legs receives HAPPENIS.	·  Wives are funny creatures... They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does!
·  Too much arousal can bring on a hard-attack.	·  New AIDS awareness slogan: Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women.
·  Guys are like roses, just watch out for the pricks.	·  Go on. Add some variety to your sex life...Use the other hand!
·  I'm so horny, I get aroused when I squeeze into a tight parking place.	·  College is like a woman; you work so hard to get in and nine months later you wish you'd never come.
·  Honeymoon Salad: Lettuce alone, with no dressing.	·  Text msgs are like a blow job from an amateur prostitute......short sweet and cheap!
·  I think I've reached my sexpiration date.	·  Men are like bagpipes... you won`t get anywhere unless you blow them first!
·  My pregnant girlfriend reminds me of a burned cake. I wish I had removed it a minute earlier.	·  I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes.
·  Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise.	·  Do a mouse a favour... Eat a Pussy!
·  When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I'm a lady and I play with boys!	·  Vitamins are good for what ails you. Viagra is good for what fails you.
·  If it were truly the thought that counted, more women would be pregnant.	·  Text messaging is like a blowjob off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap!
·  When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I'm a lady and I play with boys!	·  If you are being raped and you cannot defend yourself... keep still and enjoy it!
·  Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!	·  Whenever you feel low, depressed or useless, remember that you are the same sperm that won a battle against a million others.

 

Some TIPS for arranged marriage _ Pls take it as fun nothing Serious

 

Arranged marriage

There are times in a person's life when he needs to take crucial decisions on his own. Marriage is one of them. Believe me, the decision on whom to marry is the most important decision a person will make in his life. After marriage, your wife is the most important person in your life. She can make or break your life. The mere thought of this is very frightening.

Some of the questions that crop up are –

· What sort of a girl do I marry?

· Will she adjust in my family?

· How can I decide on a girl by just meeting her for a few times?

· When should I get married?

· This is my life. So, I should choose the girl I marry, but then what if I make a mistake?

…. so on and so forth…

I will try to address these & many more questions in the following sections.

The Nine Rules of Arranged marriage

· Rule 1 – Magic no. 28

In an ideal scenario, a girl goes to college at the age of 18. By the time she graduates, goes for her post graduation and/ or works for 1-2 years, she will be about 23- 24. This means that she has spent about 5 years away from her home. In the 5 years period, she would meet many smart guys at college or during her first few years on job. So, in all probability it would be difficult to find a good girl older than 24 yrs. Secondly, in Indian families there is lot of pressure on the girl's to get married by the time they become 24-25.

Statistics says that there is a generation gap after every 5 years. So, in such scenario, one would prefer to marry a girl who is about 3-4 years younger to you. Thus, working backwards, an ideal age for a guy to get married is by 28. Earlier the marriage, the better it is.

Well, as we all know, in the current market scenario, there will never be stability in our career. So, I believe there is no such thing as, "I will marry when I settle down".

· Rule 2 -- Subset of marriage-able girls

At times you hear statements like, "I am not getting the right match, I will look after 3 months, I will find a better match then". Well the truth is otherwise. The subset of unmarried girl looking for a match is fixed. From this subset, there would be girls who would get married & there would be new girls added who would be looking for a match. The net result is that at any given time, the variety & number of marriage-able girls are fixed.

· Rule 3 – Competition for girls

Like all other facets of life, there is lot of competition for good girls. In my own case, I was rejected by girls. So, if you are looking for a girl who is post graduate, done her Engg, is working, very beautiful, smart, from a good family etc. etc, just think again. There are other guys who are also looking for similar girls & probably they are better off than you in terms of career, looks personality etc. Given a choice every guy would like to marry Aishwarya Rai, but then for all Ashs in the world, there are many Salman Khans who also want to marry them. So, set your expectations accordingly.

· Rule 4 -- Understanding girls

You would have met a lot of people during your life. As we all know, its difficult to judge a person based on a few meetings. I am sure you would agree with me that in case of girls it is even more difficult to understand them in a few meetings. I am still trying to understand my wife… ;-).. Understanding your spouse is a life long assignment. So, then how do you select a girl based on a few meeting? This is where you need to take the help of your parents/ friends & latest technologies like email/ chat to choose your girl.

· Rule 5 – Society expectation

The selection process is tough on every one who is involved in the process. In arranged marriage, involvement of family & society is pretty high. You can't meet a girl 3-4 times & then say no to her. It is bad for her future. So, you should have a good short-listing criterion. Meet only a few girls & be sure what you are looking for. It is for the benefit of everyone involved.

· Rule 6 -- Marriage between equals

Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you also marry into the girl's family. In arranged marriages, family support plays a major role in ensuring a successful marriage. This is where the compatibility of social status, family values & caste/ religion plays a major role. Its important to note that in case there is a perfect match between the two families, the marriage is destined to succeed.

· Rule 6 – Know yourself

Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you first marry a person & then fall in love. So, it's very important that you do a self-assessment on the kind of person you would love. They say, "Opposite attract", while they also say, "Bird of same feather flock together". So, you take a call on what sort of person you like. Take a pen & paper; write down the kind of attributes you are looking for in a girl. Say, she should ideally have the looks of Sonia, the style of Monica, the voice of Sheena, the patience of Rashmi. You will certainly not find the perfect girl, but then you would have a good idea of what you are looking for.. The secret here is to set some minimum criteria for selection. Don't forget rule no.3 here.

· Rule 7 -- Girl's Beauty

A girl's looks attract, but then no one wants to end up marrying a dumb blonde. It is like buying your bike. When you initially buy it, you are crazy about the looks, but later on you love it for its reliability, fuel economy & comfort level. Similarly, a girl's looks are important, but then it should not be the most important criteria. Later on it life, you will get bored of her looks. It is then that her personality & behavior will make all the difference to your marriage. I am sure your parents will be able to advice you a lot better on this topic.

· Rule 8 -- Taking advice

As I have mentioned in the next rule, it's very important that the final decision on whom to marry must necessarily be yours. However, don't do the mistake of isolating yourself from the world while planning your marriage. Discuss with your parents & very close friends on this issue. They are your well wishers. Secondly, in such important matters its necessary that you analyze all possibilities. Remember, I am not suggesting that you follow others' advice, but don't forget to take their advice.

· Rule 9 -- Own decision

All said & done, it's your marriage & your life that is at stake. Once you are married, you & your wife are the only persons who will be facing the music. Don't marry a girl just because your parents or friends asked you to do so. After marriage, if things don't work out & you end up saying, "It's because of my friends or my parents that I married you", then your marriage is destined for disaster. If the girl is of your choice, it is you who will be responsible for whatever happens. That's when the marriage works out perfectly. So, ensure that you marriage the girl of your choice.

How to approach the selection process?

From the day, a person decides to get married; the selection process takes a minimum of 3 months. The whole process needs a lot of patience & commitment. The ideal steps to be followed are:

· Definition phase -- Define the minimum criteria for the kind of life partner you are looking for in terms of education, physical appearance, social status, family values, future career plans. Remember the Rule 3 here.

· Lead Generation phase -- Place ads in various newspapers, magazines, websites, through friends, family friends, family societies & association etc. You need to exhaust all possible means of getting biodatas at one go. Remember the Rule 2 here.

· Short listing phase – Based on your selection criteria, short-list the interesting biodatas. The general process followed for correspondence is as follows:

· The initiator sends a one page profile of himself/ herself

· Based on the profile, the receiver sends his/her one page profile along with request for detailed profile, photo, horoscope

· The initiator then sends the requested information along with a request for similar information

· The receiver send similar information

· If the biodata is selected, it is passed over to the next phase

· Casual interaction phase – Based on shortlisting, about 7 to 10 biodatas are taken forwarded to this phase. The next step to follow here is to exchange email/ chat ids. The guy & the girl then interact for 10 – 15 days to try & judge mutual compatibility through email/ chat.

· Family interaction phase – Based on the earlier phase, about 5 leads are taken for consideration in this phase. During this phase, the parents get involved & check the background information about the families to find mutual compatibility.

· The dating phase – Based on the earlier phase about 3 leads are taken forward to this phase. During this phase, the guy & the girl interact by going out alone for 2-3 times. The guy needs to prepare a set of simple questions like who is your favorite star, what are your hobbies? He needs to use his judgment to analyze the girl based on her responses.

· The D-day phase – Finally, the D-day comes when the guy has to select the girl he wants to spend his life with. If the process if followed systematically, there will be no ambiguity in deciding who should be your life partner..

Finally, my dear friends, marriage is all about compromises. In spite of all the planning that you do, there are a lot of uncertainties in a marriage. In fact this is the best part about marriage. Just remember that the person you marry must be of your choice. In such case, there would be no going back for both of you.

A few words of advice: To make your marriage a success; just believe in the age-old virtue,

"Never do anything to others that you don't like for yourse