Wife: 'What are you doing?' Husband: Nothing. Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.' Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.' ----------------------------------------------- Wife: 'Do you want dinner?' Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?' Wife: 'Yes and no.' -------------------------------------------------------------------- Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?' Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.' Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?' Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?' -------------------------------------------------------------------- Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.' Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.' -------------------------------------------------------------------- A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?' 'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!' -------------------------------------------------------------------- Father to son after exam: 'Let me see your report card.' Son: 'My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.' -------------------------------------------------------------------- Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I will be yours forever. The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.' -------------------------------------------------------------------- A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or …?' He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor'
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